TheMessyBlessyMommaMovement

  Long ago, most days, I wore long sleeves. I often piled makeup on to cover the black eyes or my eyes shadowed in darkness for the fear of the life my daughter was living and her future.  One evening, my daughter raged. In all my life I had never seen my father sad, truly sad. Helpless, until that day. I drove home, waiting for my daughter to settle. In those moments, the sky clouded and the sun began to set, the bright rays faded and the beauty of the day. Tears streamed down my face as I gripped the steering wheel with the recognition that my daughter did not have the autism I saw on TV, nor the autism that self-advocates spoke of. In fact, in those days, her words were few and far between. My daughter has what is now being dubbed "profound autism". This doesn't mean she doesn't speak but her words are infrequent and sometimes confused. She needs prompting and vigilance. Her autism needs consistent supports for life. Not just for school or behavior for life. To und

 Years ago, I spent time writing deep into the night to share my feelings about the journey we faced with autism. For those who know us now, you wouldn't expect that there have been times where I sat in Target, Seraphina cradled in my arms as she flailed about having a meltdown because of a jar falling off a shelf or some other oddity I couldn't make sense of.  One particular time I was in the bread aisle, and something startled her. Within seconds, her body began to shiver, and her head flipped back hitting the plastic on the cart, she writhed as if she was in significant pain. Her little purple coat went flying, she shimmied down and found herself out of her seatbelt and on the floor. Within seconds, I met her there, bringing her in as her arms and legs flailed. She clawed at my face and pulled my hair. Nothing could calm her. Some of my other kids were with me and by this time knew we had to let her meltdown happened for her body to come back to regulation. As this went on,

 To say I am "Type A" is putting it mildly. Growing up, as an only child, I consistently heard that I had to learn to be more flexible, I had to be aware that things in life could and would change. I think back to my heartbreak time and time again when things didn't go just as planned. I would often hole up in my own world questioning how I could make it work out my way in the end and often I was disappointed. I had high standards, for myself and everything around me. In 2015, when my daughter was diagnosed with autism, I was still inflexible. I liked things laid out, properly or what was properly in my mind. My expectations for myself and those around me spread out onto the lives of my husband and children. Perfection was the only answer, in the home and in the presence of others. Slowly, I have learned to let go of what you cannot control. And when I say slowly, it's taken me 8 years to get to this place and sometimes I have to remind myself to be flexible.  Often,

  For a parent hearing the words, your child has been given an autism diagnosis, in that moment, their life will forever change. While autism has a spectrum as vast as an ocean, in that moment, that parent is united with other parents who like them choose to honor and accept the birth of a new life that they never expected. When my daughter was diagnosed, I anticipated how the process would go, what therapies she would need and how we would access the support that was necessary to help her grow into a strong, independent adult, with few barriers and limitations. As our daughter has grown, so had my understanding of raising an autistic child. I no longer anticipate anything. Instead, I honor everything. I recognize that all parents want success for their children with few barriers and limitations however, all people, autistic or not will face adversity, sorrow and sadness. This week at church, our Pastor spoke of the fact that there was a woman present, she was celebrating her 100th Eas

If you think Autism Acceptance is a month, you haven't had the opportunity to truly know someone on the autism spectrum and as they say, no two individuals with autism are alike, and that is 100% the truth. I don't pretend to know the journey of other families that have children, siblings or parents with autism, though at times I am grateful to know some of the experiences that we have, or share are shared by others walking a similar path. Autism acceptance for our family, is every day, it's in waking wondering just what type of place or space Seraphina will be in. It is in working together to make her quality of life as good as everyone else's in the family. It is being proud of her even in the difficult moments when she may make embarrassing comments or have a meltdown in public. Autism Acceptance is introducing our daughter to others to help them grow in their own journey in life. Autism acceptance is educating others on autism and what our version of autism looks li

 Every year we enter into the month of April, I begin to question what the month will hold and unveil for myself as a parent of a child with autism. My daughter is wonderfully made but lives with autism that impacts her life in every aspect. I recognize our journey is unlike anyone else's journey living with and loving an individual with autism. As a parent, I have identified myself as an "autism mom", I have been told I don't have the right to identify myself as such as I don't have autism. This statement made me realize while those of us impacted by autism share a diagnosis, we do not share the same journey and we must always recognize that there is no right way to walk this journey only to choose to continue to walk the journey. As we near April, I will be sharing what I have learned, working to raise a child with autism and what I have learned from walking the journey side by side with other people impacted by autism and what I have learned from individuals ab